The adventures of Ian the non-bus taker on the TTC...

I'm in a good mood though as I reminisce on the funnier moments of my week.

Picture this. Driver who hasn't taken the bus in years. His car engine goes and he's forced to do so - but is as foreign to buses and their routes as he is to dating. [I think that's one for the blog too eh?]. Anyway, I got another car, but had a little accident involving some of the Allen's apple juice that was on sale at Walmart for $.60 each (have I told you how much I love the Walmart anniversary sale?). So anyway, I drop my car to this amazing detailing place - but he's so swamped that I have to do it first thing in the morning. I drop the car at 7am, and walk out to Kennedy Road. As I'm walking up the road, I look back and here comes the bus. So I do what any logical person would do. I start running. With the memory in my mind of Grace ("bus drivers will wait for you but people have a tendancy to stop running when we wait - so I drive off"), I run - all the way to the bus stop. As I reach the buses doors, weezing like Lil Wayne, he does the unthinkable. And CLOSES the doors. I could SWEAR the person in the handicapped seat laughed at me. As I stand there, cussing, with my hands on my knees (I'm not Usain Bolt - it's been at least 6 years since I did a 100 metre dash - against Skimpy in the tennis court by my house - remember that story? see the p.s.), I glance up with the intention of taking his bus number then just forget it. I decide to WALK to Sheppard. Keep in mind, that was Ellesmere.

As I approach Progress, I look back and see another bus. The stop is within a distance that I can outrun the bus, so I do. I wait there and it stops. I jump on, and ask the bus driver, how much. "$2.75". But I have no change. And they don't make any. Exhausted, damp from sweat, and cold from the temperature, I push in $5 and walk to the back of the bus. What? I didn't have any change.

Doesn't the bus TURN THE CORNER onto Progress going to Town Centre? I ring the bell - and these new buses won't let you ring it continuously - so he doesn't stop until another block. I jump off the bus, again cussing. Now I have to walk ALL the way back to Kennedy and I'm still not any closer to Sheppard. No more bus rides today. I'm walking the rest of the way.

Hope you got a laugh. I think it would be pretty hilarious following me around with a camera for a day