In a rut...

What's up?

Anyone else in a rut? I've been in a mood for a hot minute. I've seldom left the house except for work unless it's been absolutely necessary, although I will have to today to fight the 3 - THREE - tickets that I got last week to the day. Almost $200. Sidebar: Does anyone know the rules on parking ticketing? I was driving off when he ran in FRONT of the car and THREW the ticket. It actually landed near the headlight... it didn't even stay on the car. I drove away, then thought about it and came back for it a few minutes later. Is that according to the rules? Can you ticket a moving car for a parking ticket? Hmmph. What a day it was. Earlier in the day, when the cop gave me a ticket for a right turn from Bay to Richmond, he smiled at my confused face and told me "don't worry - you obviously didn't see it... fight it and we'll work something out with the Crown". WTF?

I've had serious insomnia (and life issues) lately, and this morning, so this morning, I decided to try and clear out my numerous email accounts (especially my hotmail as it's become clogged with facebook notifications - holy #$%). I'm not sure why we have so many email addresses - it seems we just create more and more work for ourselves. Anyway, in the process of cleaning up, I came across a couple of unanswered emails and facebook messages. One, from just yesterday read:

Hello Ian,
We cross paths from time to time! You see so many people that you probably don't remember me. I just thought it important to congratulate you on what you do... I am a music addict myself and I feel that there is no better way to bring people of different backgrounds and ages together than with music!

Your events are always a success and I will keep on encouraging them for as long as I'm in Toronto at least!

On this note, keep on pushing (Sam Cooke)! lol! [next message: Correction: Curtis Mayfield not Sam Cooke!! lol!] ~ Emmanuella B

I just wanted to take a moment out to say THANK YOU. If you read my blogs, or even the long part of my email (that you're reading now), you'll see that their actually quite personal. I get a steady flow of love from people who write that "it's like I'm in their heads" or that "I'm going through the same things" or just to say thanks for the parties. Again, the frequently asked question is asked how I write them. The process is simple. For instance, as I listen to Jester playing on CIUT right now, I'm seated in front of the computer ("When las yu hear bout de congo man..."). Other times it's Jay-z. Or Common. Soca. Love songs. Reggae. Or silence. Whatever I feel I write. Obviously, I don't write everything that comes to mind, as you all might think I'm unstable and commit me like Britney (LOL). Sidebar: If you're trying to go for groceries and there are 300 paparatzi blocking your car and you run them over, who's the crazy one?

ACTUALLY, before I lose my point - it was this. Often I don't reply to these emails. I ALWAYS intend to... sometimes I flag them for response and don't get back to them. Other times they warrant and deserve more than a quick "thanks". Yet they get lost in my day and go unreturned. If you've ever taken the time to write me, please know that the moment you took to write makes me continue sharing my thoughts despite the fact that I wonder why anyone would care what I think. That was awkward, but you catch my drift.

This email (blog as it is) started as a note to a group of my close friends talking about the fact that in today's fast paced world, that I hadn't been the friend or son that I wanted to be. It was accidentally sent to my entire distribution list, and I got hundreds of responses saying that my words had inspired them to call friends, parents, loved ones and people they were in dispute with.

That day, I realized that a couple of things - including that we're all connected, and that my words could help others who feel the same as I do, feel less alone or inspire them as the lives and interactions that you all share with me do.

When I was in the shower this morning (the only place I don't take the phone), I was thinking about the fact (as I said in my blog) that we're at an age where we're grappling with EVERYTHING. Our friendships, materialism, religion, education, work, relationships. I find that I KNOW that I don't need a 42" LCD plasma but for some reason I lust it. I want a relationship, but I run from love or embrace my work as though the 2 are mutually exclusive and can't co-exist. I say things I don't mean. And don't say things that will make me vulnerable.

I make mistakes, and know better - and make the same mistakes over. I worry about what people will think. Then I tell myself that it doesn't matter what they think. Then I obsess over it. I say things like "I want to lose weight" but then break the routine of better eating, or exercise like 2 days in (no thanks to my friends {S.C waving double glazed donuts in front of me ~ good looking out Migs}. And I know better - and I know if it was life or death I'd do it. And my health IS life and death and I STILL don't do it. I love technology - and the fact that I've been able to come to know more personally thousands of people I've met in my journeys. And that 600 of them took a moment to wish me a happy bday. At the same time I hate the fact that my best friend sent me a Merry Christmas text. I would have preferred no greeting at all from him.

I had a really bad fight with someone I really care about. But I'm stubborn and don't want to phone. I'm upset by things people do like borrowing money and not bringing it back or sticking me with tickets for shows. But I don't cuss them. I just lock them off.

Anyway, this is getting long... and boring. My point was to thank each and everyone who's ever sent a smoke signal to let me know they're with me - in person in a party ("I'm so embarassed saying this and I know you probably get it all the time but..."), on the street, in the grocery, by email, facebook or anywhere else. Life's extremely hard - and beautiful all at the same time. I guess it's a beautiful struggle as Talib said. And sometimes it's seems like its harder to live than to die, but there's solace in knowing we're not alone (even though we may feel alone). We're all in this together.

There's lots of amazing parties coming up to help us free ourselves in the rhythms of music, but I don't really feel like expounding on them right now - you know what they are and why they're dope. If not, they're down below in the short section (and I left in last week's long).

I AM however, looking really forward to next Saturday's private re:connect "meet market" party. And Soul Kitchen (are you hearing the Toni's in the background? I'm still in House Party mode... anyone know where to get it on DVD? Mine's on video). And I'm really stoked for the return of the Big People Fete. I guess I'm happy that it's almost Spring (the 20th to be exact).

Politics and #%#$#!^...

Oh... interestingly enough, I got 14 emails from different people, I'm supposing picked up on my Political Science background, and wrote me to ask about the about the US presidential election. Here's the latest (on the Democratic side anyway). Obama or Clinton need 2,025 delegates to win. Thus far, of 44 contests (states), Obama has won 30 to Hillary's 14. He last won Mississippi (did you spell that fast as a kid?), and leads in both the number of delegates (1411 vs. 1250) and the popular vote ~ meaning that the number of PLACES he's won is higher and the number of PEOPLE that those places represent is also bigger. Say for example they competed in 3 places ~ 1 state has 20 people. He wins. Then the 2nd has 50 and she wins. They have 1 win each, but she has a larger percentage of the popular vote as the second place represents a bigger percentage of the populace).

Anyway, he's winning (according to someone in Hillary's camp (Ferraro who ran as the first female back in 84), "If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept". No comment. Here's how the map looks. The dark blue is Obama. The light blue is Clinton.

Here's the party long party info as last listed:

Anyway... There are only 1 more week until the return of my personal and private event - RE:CONNECT. The last time the combination of Jason Chambers and Jester were together was this past summer on the Soul Kitchen Boat Cruise and, like the culture, and like the music, it was a competitive event. Shot for shot - all night they had the crowd breathless. On the 22nd for my HOUSE PARTY, only 200 friends will be admitted. I'm writing my friends personally on facebook and email to invite you - but if I don't get to you before you get to me, PLEASE CONSIDER THIS YOUR INVITATION TO RE:CONNECT WITH ME. It's all about the TORONTO DEGREE OF SEPARATION. That's the good one - as in - you know everyone in the party and are happy to see them - not the bad one as in everyone he dated dated a girl you know from high school lol.

Then a mere week later is the Soul Kitchen event EVERYONE is talking about - The Soundtrack edition featuring the best and forgotten gems that were a PART of the movies that we used to watch - not just inspired by them... The artists seemed to have READ the scripts - placed themselves in the roles and written accordingly as opposed to just using a throwaway verse. On the 28th, the heat is on in the Kitchen. Get a plate. Click here for the commercial and get hyped >>> Soul Soundtracks...

Finally, after months and months away, its the return of the party that's MORE THAN JUST BACK IN TIMES. The Big People Fete. Big People meaning adults - but BIG as in pleasantly plump, rotund, and round are welcome too... It's a party that has the energy and vibes of the parties that we came up on - with the people that we know. No kids. No stchupidness. Just classic Dr Jay and a touch of Stretch McNeilly (de real ting).